i dont know how to explain whats going on. i dont even know where to begin with it. its jsut this nasty feeling eating away at me each and every day. i cant focus, or work, or even think straight. its not that i have a lot of energy either. i mean, i sometimes will, but most of the time im jsut at a crash. its jsut an ugly mess of conflicting characters in me, and its jsut getting worse and worse. There moments where i swear im the stupidest moron in the whole world, that i cant do anything right, and within the hour ill randomly change and bvecome a ego-maniac. its like... what the hell.
but then with homeowkr and stuff too to work on, which may actually be a good thing so im not focusing on anything to negative. so mostly if just been losing my social life (or what of it i had to begin with) and becoming closer to my teenager-going-cat-lady self. stupid adolescence.
Tal
Monday, September 22, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
:P
i cant believe how much homework it seems like ive had recently. its just kinda been a crazy week. and the lack of sleep has me feeling like my head is in a murky fog... its an odd feeling. i also feel like ive b een whining alot to people, so im sorrfy for that. not that this is an excuse, but its just been a little difficult in my life right now. so ive been a little whiney and snappish.
oh, is anyone going to the GAC nobel conference?
Tal
oh, is anyone going to the GAC nobel conference?
Tal
Monday, September 15, 2008
Music
so Kris sent my some music in german, which i ended up really liking. mostly for the sounf, because while i can tell what most of it means, i cant say waht all of it is. but theres other music ive found recently that ive really liked. such as music by Ataris, Brand New, Bright Eyes, From First to Last, This Day and Age, A Day to Remember, The Early November, Juliana Theory, Sick Puppies, Bedlight For Blue Eyes, Motion City Soundtrack, Format, Acceptance, Mae, Scenes from a Movie, Rise Agianst, and theres a ton more but those are jsut a few.
eh, better go make some dinner.
Tal
eh, better go make some dinner.
Tal
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Zzzzz.... (i wish)
i am so tired! but the overnights were insanely fun! there was all the rain, and the walking, and the Truth (schools gonna be a little awkward for a little bit....). i loved the rain, and the walking.
and then there was the trip down memory lane. remeber the main center-cafeteria was? we walked to that. and i swear that meadow-y feild was a ton bigger back when we made smores there! like, at least twice as big. it holds so many memories. and the grass under the buckets? O.o
and then there was that turkey. (which, by the way, i think ate the food that was spilled, it wasnt there this morning. HUNGRY TURKEY!)
and then the whole beautifulness of the forest and grasses and such in the gray-ness. t was lovely.
and i would write more on that and stuff, but im tired. and hungry agian. so i may write more later...
Tal
and then there was the trip down memory lane. remeber the main center-cafeteria was? we walked to that. and i swear that meadow-y feild was a ton bigger back when we made smores there! like, at least twice as big. it holds so many memories. and the grass under the buckets? O.o
and then there was that turkey. (which, by the way, i think ate the food that was spilled, it wasnt there this morning. HUNGRY TURKEY!)
and then the whole beautifulness of the forest and grasses and such in the gray-ness. t was lovely.
and i would write more on that and stuff, but im tired. and hungry agian. so i may write more later...
Tal
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
eghlthfffft.
well.
yesterday sucked. hands down, it was the worst day of the year so far. so first, i just had a rough morning getting up and whatever, tripping everywhere and everything. but then i get to German. i hate german. it is a very very stupid class. i just take it becuase i can speak it fairly well compared to my class. so im sitting in my class talking to EvC, NY, and JW. ya, first mistake there is talking to all three at the same time. so you know those mistkes that didnt really hurt anyone, it was jsut a stupid thing you did that you wish that people let you move on from? ya, they started talking about that (like, as in my mistake), cept NY didnt know what it was. and i know that both EvC and JW both know it bothers me. so they jsut keep making fun of me. and let me tell you, i can generally not show how hurt i am in school, but man, i pretty much was passing my abilities. so NY just keeps asking and asking and asking and i keep saying no! finally, i just leave the room. when i come back, i made sure it was really obvious that i was pissed, becuase i knew they had told her. i pretty much didnt talk to them the rest of class. so then later that nihgt, AZ texts m e asking what was wrong in german. so i basically tell him what i tell you, minus the initials. now lets think.... what is the last thing you want to hear/read at this point? lets just give a random thought to it... how bout "what was the mistake?" UGH. THATS EXACTLY WHAT HE ASKS.
and so i pretty much died i was so upset. but the travel back in time to the rest of the school day, i pretty much managed to die in every class, econ included. so ya. not a happy camper. yet somehow beats being around the house.
oh, and im hoping to join debate and someother clubs that might sound interesting.
and i might get to go on DC. but my dad made this into a political issue, so who knows. he manages to find a way to bring anything to politics that you ask. and he wonders why i never come and talk to him.... honestly. just this morning i asked about the Europeans testing or whatever the "Big Bang" and he managed to bring this to how we waste our money a certian countries (the main one ill remained unnamed, but some of you could figure it out if you know my dad). it was ridiculous. i ask a science Q, and he starts spazzing. because that exactly how i wanted to spend my morning. definately.
ugh. what a last-forty-eight-hours?
Tal
yesterday sucked. hands down, it was the worst day of the year so far. so first, i just had a rough morning getting up and whatever, tripping everywhere and everything. but then i get to German. i hate german. it is a very very stupid class. i just take it becuase i can speak it fairly well compared to my class. so im sitting in my class talking to EvC, NY, and JW. ya, first mistake there is talking to all three at the same time. so you know those mistkes that didnt really hurt anyone, it was jsut a stupid thing you did that you wish that people let you move on from? ya, they started talking about that (like, as in my mistake), cept NY didnt know what it was. and i know that both EvC and JW both know it bothers me. so they jsut keep making fun of me. and let me tell you, i can generally not show how hurt i am in school, but man, i pretty much was passing my abilities. so NY just keeps asking and asking and asking and i keep saying no! finally, i just leave the room. when i come back, i made sure it was really obvious that i was pissed, becuase i knew they had told her. i pretty much didnt talk to them the rest of class. so then later that nihgt, AZ texts m e asking what was wrong in german. so i basically tell him what i tell you, minus the initials. now lets think.... what is the last thing you want to hear/read at this point? lets just give a random thought to it... how bout "what was the mistake?" UGH. THATS EXACTLY WHAT HE ASKS.
and so i pretty much died i was so upset. but the travel back in time to the rest of the school day, i pretty much managed to die in every class, econ included. so ya. not a happy camper. yet somehow beats being around the house.
oh, and im hoping to join debate and someother clubs that might sound interesting.
and i might get to go on DC. but my dad made this into a political issue, so who knows. he manages to find a way to bring anything to politics that you ask. and he wonders why i never come and talk to him.... honestly. just this morning i asked about the Europeans testing or whatever the "Big Bang" and he managed to bring this to how we waste our money a certian countries (the main one ill remained unnamed, but some of you could figure it out if you know my dad). it was ridiculous. i ask a science Q, and he starts spazzing. because that exactly how i wanted to spend my morning. definately.
ugh. what a last-forty-eight-hours?
Tal
Saturday, September 6, 2008
eh.
first week of school is over! yay. i guess school its self really wasnt so bad, but it kinda of was terrible. i fidgeted through everyclass pretty much. but i dont have any homework this weekend! so last night i went to the game, and a lot of peopel who i dont normally see there were there. like michael, jonathan, matt, piper, and someone else, but i forgot who :(
i have dinner with my stepgrandparents today. it shall be interesting. very interesting. i miss summer. but i want the fall weather.
a little bit of a school note: i hate econ. it probably wouldnt be so bad if i had people i talk to in that class (or people that talk to me!) but its just wierd. i end up sitting by myself until the moment class starts when though "cool" girls walk into class, see theres no where else they can all sit together, and finally take over my table. and food/nutrition is going to suck. ive a few friends in there, but other then that its like i have a ton of super annoying people. but that at least will be an easy class. then theres gov. i have a ton of people i know in gov, but only like, one person that i end up talking to in school. and another one that i end up talking to, but only in that class. because all the poeple i know in that class i pretty much dont end up really talking to at school. ela isnt so bad, and i like art and physics. but while i like my math class, i can.not. stand the actual math. algebra is possibley my least favorite thing i have to do in school. (other then grammar, of course).
eh.
tal
i have dinner with my stepgrandparents today. it shall be interesting. very interesting. i miss summer. but i want the fall weather.
a little bit of a school note: i hate econ. it probably wouldnt be so bad if i had people i talk to in that class (or people that talk to me!) but its just wierd. i end up sitting by myself until the moment class starts when though "cool" girls walk into class, see theres no where else they can all sit together, and finally take over my table. and food/nutrition is going to suck. ive a few friends in there, but other then that its like i have a ton of super annoying people. but that at least will be an easy class. then theres gov. i have a ton of people i know in gov, but only like, one person that i end up talking to in school. and another one that i end up talking to, but only in that class. because all the poeple i know in that class i pretty much dont end up really talking to at school. ela isnt so bad, and i like art and physics. but while i like my math class, i can.not. stand the actual math. algebra is possibley my least favorite thing i have to do in school. (other then grammar, of course).
eh.
tal
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